Dealing With Panhandler Mentality
Not wanting to be hardhearted, I've often offered to go with them to buy food. Only one ever let me do it. Another said he didn't think he could walk the block to the nearest place. But if I would just give him the money, he would buy the food later when he was rested. The aroma surrounding him indicated he was really after something else. When one entrepreneur pled for hungry kids at home, I bought a sack of food and gave it to him. Did he take it home? No. He kept panhandling, telling the same sad story to anyone who would listen.
I've thus become a bit jaded when solicited for money. Even the appeals of well-respected, legitimate charities usually find a deaf ear. Why?
The impersonal panhandler mentality is at work. I'm just one out of countless thousands who get the same computer-generated "letter." It may have my name on it, but I know that a real person has never touched it. And a letter without first-class postage never gets a second glance on its brief spiral into the trash.
Call me cynical. Call me heartless. But don't call me on the phone with a solicitation. Certainly, many causes are worthy and need to be supported. But I'm biased against any with an impersonal, invasive approach.
But the needs of groups we know are different. I will give them consideration--sometimes. I don't ask that they grovel, but simply adopt a personal approach. A recent letter is a case in point.
It was addressed to me--handwritten, in fact--and had first-class postage. The first hurdle was cleared. There was no return address, however, making me a little suspicious. Even so, it went into the second-look pile.
It seems that a local boy has a mission opportunity in a foreign country and is trying to raise money for his trip. Hence his letter, reminiscent of many similar letters over the years.
But a letter (perhaps one of hundreds) which opens with "Dear Friend" smacks of panhandler mentality. I'm neither dear to him, nor am I his friend. Though I've been in this young man's home on several occasions, he never took the time to introduce himself. It's like the panhandler approach in nicer clothes: "Say, pal. Can you spare some money?"
Though I'll likely contribute a small amount out of deference to the parents, it will only be a token. But what if he had addressed me by name and taken a moment to explain the project, how he came to be involved, and how I could share in his vision? That would be a different story.
Whatever the endeavor, the panhandler mentality erects barriers. A personal interest always reaps better rewards.
Copyright 2001 James McAlister
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