Finding Hidden Strength In Hard Times

For 20 years now, occasions such as holidays, anniversaries, and birthdays have motivated me make small investments in future generations. I use such times--not faithfully enough, I admit--to write down thoughts that might encourage those who would read them later.

My wife and I just celebrated our 34th anniversary, and I've plucked this note to her (written in 1999) to share with you this week. I'll explain the reason in a moment.

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Just this morning I prayed that we might have another 32 years together. When one prays such a prayer, it's usually motivated by the memory of "good times" and a desire for more of them. And I would certainly like that, for the blessings of God are to be treasured in our hearts.

But on our 32nd anniversary, I would have to say that so many of our blessings have come in work clothes, wearing the disguise of trials we've faced together. Regretfully, I've fought against so many of them, as if my resistance could make things better.

For me, blessings that have come without the catalyst of trial are too quickly forgotten. But the blessings which have emerged from the fiery furnace of struggle will be remembered forever, for the process itself forms bonds of friendship and love that only death can break.

Jenny taught us a lot about life, endurance, finding joy in small things, death, and sorrow. But those are things that we needed to learn. From Barrett we have experienced the joys of larger things as we've watched our baby grow into manhood. We've needed that, too.

And you have endured with me as I have been troubled by catching occasional glimpses of the end of my own productive labors and what have seemed to be a trail of mistakes and shortcomings in so many areas.

But you have been ever faithful, forgiving and loving so easily, even overlooking transgressions as if they had never occurred. I'm sure that learning to do that has been hard. Nevertheless, you have stuck with it when many others would have dropped out of the race much earlier.

And while asking for another 32 years might seem to be a trivial request, it's not. To spend that time with one's best friend would be a pleasure.

I love you, and may God richly bless you for all you have added to my life.

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Why would I share such personal details? Perhaps to revitalize those who think long-term relationships are a steady stream of carefree days. Many couples seem to expect that--and abandon each other when the vision doesn't materialize. Without some source of internal strength, hard times bring collapse.

In looking back, however, one thing is clear. Having our lives flexed by the opposing forces of joy and sorrow--even triumph and failure--builds strength and unity that comes in no other way.

Copyright 2001 James McAlister

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