New Vistas Bring Two Old Friends
The decision pleases me, even though I had planned on working a bit longer. But I am tired, very tired, and ready to pursue some other interests should I be so allowed by the grace of God.
And as I crouch on this precipice, preparing to leap across the chasm into a new phase of life, various thoughts flood me. Many who will read this will have been there before, but I'm in heretofore unfamiliar territory.
--Life is shorter than I thought. I began working where I am at age 24. Our two children have been born since then, and one has died. The other has moved out, leaving us as we were in the beginning -- alone, only much older. And whatever we begin now will have to be accomplished in an obviously ever-shrinking compression of time.
--The money we have saved for retirement is not nearly as much as I would like to have. But the future has always been so distant and indefinite that we have used our resources mainly for today's needs and investments in other people. Still, we could perhaps have done better.
--I would not want to go back and "do it all over again." Though there are countless things I would do differently, I would not want to relive the trials we have faced. God's grace has been sufficient, but youth is generally endowed with vigor and optimism which have gradually become strangers to me.
--I've spent too little time enjoying the unplanned pleasures of the moment. The urgent frequently bullied the important, permitting innumerable, irretrievable opportunities to silently escape. Precious, fleeting moments to lie on our backs gazing at the stars… to laughingly and leisurely stroll hand in hand as a family… to marvel at the beauty and endless entertainment of the sideshow put on by birds and squirrels right in our own backyard.
--Those whose identity and fulfillment are based solely on their job have a hard time with retirement. I've been sobered by a graph a friend sent me. Supposedly with roots in the aerospace industry, it illustrates how each year that retirement is deferred past age 55 brings a decrease in life expectancy of two years. I don't need convincing.
Of course, we do wonder what challenges and changes lie ahead. But we are eager for it… and resolved to make the most of precious moments that present themselves, to forbid the urgent from stealing the important any longer. And just the imminence of new vistas is putting us back in touch with two old friends, vigor and optimism.
And if you can't tell, I'm excited.
Copyright 2002 James McAlister
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