The True Meaning Of Twinship
The two individuals I base this conclusion on don't share much facial resemblance. But their thought processes, mannerisms, voice intonations, emotional responses and interests are teasingly "twinish."
This is remarkable because they lived together under "normal" circumstances for only nine years. Then in 1959, their mother's death in a tragic accident became the catalyst that eventually splintered siblings to different households. Consequently they never knew each other well.
But I've watched these virtual twins--my wife and her sister, Betty Weldon of Missouri City, Texas--become best friends over the past nine years. The process had a specific genesis.
When our daughter died, Betty comforted her sister. And over the ensuing months they poured out memories, hurts and feelings by email. Thus evolved a catharsis that healed wounds spanning four decades.
When Betty arrived for her now-traditional fall pilgrimage to Arkansas just this past week, the sisters immediately launched their first expedition. Antique stores, book stores and even grocery stores facilitated new revelations of late-in-life twinship.
Perhaps because of their fragmented childhoods, both have great yearnings to reach out to others. Consequently, merchandise is evaluated according to its potential for making life better, more interesting and beautiful. "If we did this, we would make that." Or, "We could create thus and so and do this, that or the other." Or, "If we could buy this, we could paint it and do such and such... have people over and be more hospitable."
Female twinship involves outlooks foreign and peculiar to the male psyche.
To them, buying dissimilar dishes piecemeal (nothing in boxes, mind you) is an art form in itself. After all, dishes are not mere utensils, but creative implements for an inviting home.
And pumpkins aren't food, but unique works of art intended for display. Swatches of fabric conceal potential curtains or tablecloths or grandchildren's puppets--all art forms. And even frying the lowly breakfast egg demands a dash of panache.
But they're not completely alike. One is even-keeled and moderate, the other more quixotic and bubbly. One is phlegmatic, the other giggly with spells of sober thoughtfulness.
One devours cookbooks to discover the history of the people, the region, the custom. Intrigued with the passage of time, the other scours history books for unusual connections between generations. But they both read the Bible and share an unabashed love of God.
On this recent visit, the sisters spent time with Great-aunt Etta Barrett Bostian, the first such visit of their adult lives. Like sponges, they absorbed previously unheard stories about when their father once lived with his Aunt Etta, who was only three months older than he.
They collaborated on projects--one I expecially savored. After comparing recollections of Mama Daniel's fabled chess pie, they resolved to fast-forward the best of the past into the present with the microwave oven. Delicious!
Desiring the warm and friendly homes denied by abbreviated childhoods, their imaginations labor to close the gap that separated them so many years ago.
Twinship is more than a biological connection, but hearts entwined in the same direction.
Copyright 2004 James McAlister
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